Sunday, February 15, 2009

Love Notes, '09 Version

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. After I got divorced and my ex remarried on Valentine’s Day, it was not a holiday I looked forward to. Then I met David and our celebrations of a day for love, came slowly – but they did come. After a few years we started our own traditions and one of them included a “Love Note” in the Washington Post. It was a wonderful way to say I love you, or I care, or ‘you have been a dope but at least you are my dope.’ When it started, I guess sometime in the eighties, the “Love Notes” filled about a page. Over the years it grew and at one point, the Post did a special section – 6 pages. David was dutiful in his participation and after Jordan could read, he sent one to her as well. Then, for whatever reason -- too busy, less sentimental, wanted to be more discreet in his affection, didn’t love us anymore (just kidding because he always loved her), he stopped sending them.

After a long absence from the pages of the Post, this year he sent me a 'Love Note'. It said, “Irie” (that’s Jamaican for everything is alright -- you may remember from my blob a few days ago about David’s book and show.) Oh never mind, it’s much too personal to share with anyone but the thousands of people who read the Washington Post. When I saw the ‘Notes”, and I only looked because David said he had sent one, what was most surprising was that there was only half a page of them. I wondered why so few people sent notes this year. Then I figured it must because the ‘Notes” are on line instead of in print. Try as I might, I couldn’t find anything on line. It is possible that I could not find them because I am ‘technotarded’ (a word I think my pal Jim made up to describe my constant frustration with anything technical. He always says, with love, “what are you, some kind of a “technotard?” – another word you will see in a not so politically correct dictionary now that it has been used here.) And, in fact I am, but there were no ‘Love Notes' on line.

What does this mean to society as we know it? Don’t people love one another enough to pay for a three line message in a National newspaper? We all know that, Jdate, Affiity, and letsgetitonasap, are thriving. Additionally, we know, because we have seen Face Book and entries on MY Space pages, that people are not subtle about who they are, who their friends are, what parties they attended and if they were naked. So why has the “Love Notes’ page become so minimal?

Did I just answer my own query? (Among many others, I love the word query, also plethora and dearth. David used verdant in describing our rosemary bush the other day and I kind of liked that too.) People obviously don’t need to express themselves in a newspaper – why bother when people are not reading the paper anymore. I mean, if you want anyone (strangers or otherwise) to know about your love life, why would you post it in a place that no one reads.

Have you seen the size of the NY Times lately? Talk about heartbreaking. Technotard that I am, I can go online and read the paper. But I can’t see the placement of the story, on what page, or get ink on my hands – which has always been part of the joyful experience.

Yes, I know it is old-school think to have to purchase or have an intimate relationship with a dirty piece of paper, but that like so many other things that are slowly disappearing, this has made life just a bit more impersonal. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the stories, blogs and Twitter reports (OK I don’t enjoy the Twitter reports), it’s just that I have excellent interpersonal relationship skills and I don’t want the importance of those to be diminished. And when I see “I love you stinky” in print, I feel sure it is true and everlasting love because you just can’t hit Delete and move on. And note, that’s really love. We’re just sayin’....Iris


Anonymous said...

Technotard??? I would expect a woman of your education, breeding, and self-aggrandizement would know better than to use such an offensive, albeit hip, term in her lofty blog. Apparently, your insensitivity to those with developmental disabilities compares exactly to that of a 7th grader. Of course, your blog proves my theory.

m_harding said...

Hey Harper, great job!!!!

I know a little about developmentally challenged people and how sensitive they can be.

And,apparently so do you, as I see that you have the experience and insight , that enables to group every human with "developmental disabilities" into a single defenseless, emotional, intellectual , and for sure humorless,void.

Good for you! And good for us that you're here!

After all, where would we be without watchdogs like you combing the internet for heartless politically incorrect vermin like Iris - people who viciously assault those witless drooling convalescing directionless humans with "disabilities" - blogger's with their all damning irreversibly harmful valentines day memos. Valentines Day memo's? The shame of it all... what's next Christmas cards?

Hell, I live with a person with "developmental disabilities" and I didn't even see Iris' hurtful secret code!

Nope, it took your keen (and might I add compassionate) eye to spot it, and valiantly fight for the disabled.

You are indeed a true equal rights advocate.

How, those evil doers might ask ?

By proving with your brilliant entry into this comments page that you don't have to be born with a developmental disability ,or inflicted by brain trauma to be considered a complete retard.

You are an example for all of us...for sure an example.

Hey Harper,

using the handicapped to leverage your opinion is sad. If you don't like it jut say it. Or better, if you don't like a blog, don't keep reading it...

I await your witty and very predictable response, that will surely - confirm your lofty and self-aggrandizing - albeit hip approach - to confirming your well researched theory on the handicapped, and your unique ability to judge a person, having never even had a cup of coffee with them.

Hmmm ...I stand convicted of that too...

gosh i guess we all do...

Considering that Harper... my apologies, you're probably a sweet person.


Iris and Clay said...

Thanks Michael, You always say it better than I. It doesn't surprise me that you get it and that I'm neither insensitive nor am I lofty. And how does anyone know about my breeding or education-- of which I may have neither. Self aggrandizement doesn't work either if you think that my admission of being incapable of new technology is hardly a pat on the back. Harper, I have have first hand intimate experience with disability. And have always found that the best way to get thru any serious problem is to have a sense of humor about it. The problem with being non-stop politically correct is that all you care about is saying the 'right' thing so people think you are a stellar person. In addition and more importantly, you lose your ability to have a sense of humor about anything. As far as I know, being retarded is not embarrassing nor does it have anything to do with politics. It is just a word to describe a condition-- unfortunate as it may be. My pal Jim found a way to describe my condition -- unfortunate as that my be. And so I would suggest you lighten up and maybe volunteer for some people who are less fortunate than yourself.

Iris and Clay said...

And furthermore, just as an illustration I have no idea why Clay is involved in my response... Iris

Anonymous said...

I'm kinda lost here? Although it's totally unlike me to stick my nose in someone else's business -just who the hell is Clay? Did David change his name after becoming infamous with the new book, you know, like movie stars do?

I also see a last name of "Christian" - perhaps Clay is a conservative and if so, now makes the sum total of all conservatives enjoying this blog at 2 (just kidding Iris).

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