Saturday, March 29, 2014

The Necessary Cattle Prod

This morning we went to do some errands. It’s a pretty hum drum activity for two people who consider themselves the edge of exciting. But we need to eat, and that requires us to buy food.  There really is nothing exciting about eggs and cold cereal, but almond milk is right on the borderline.

Anyway, there are certain places to go for certain things. Places where the meat is better, or the vegetables are fresher. This is the case for most people – except if you live in the middle of nowhere with no options. 

What is consistent however, is the way some people shop that can drive a person crazy. (I think there is a song by that name).  Let’s start with the way Men shop for food—and other things I presume. 
When Women wait on line they know when it’s their turn to empty their cart on the checkout counter. They keep moving forward. Men are still thinking about what they want when they get in line, and often prevent any movement at all. Housewives are not the only people who read the magazines on display. David does his best to read all of them.

Then there’s the people who stand right in front of the vegetables and make themselves big enough so no one else can possibly see what’s available. And if you do get to select your broccoli, the same people will look at you like your broccoli is exactly the broccoli they wanted. Such dirty looks. My mother would say,”You shouldn’t know from it.”

Moving on, if you are not prevented by the people who are so happy to see their friends that they gather in the middle of an aisle, with shopping carts blocking any possibility of getting through.  They see you standing there, ready to leap over the blocked area and they could care less. (This might be a consequence of people feeling entitled, and having no concept of things like space.)
And my favorite people are the ones who get in line before they finish shopping. So they either leave their partner in line or just start to check out and then leave their groceries while they continue to shop, hoping to return before the cashier finishes the mound of groceries stacked on the belt. The cashier is powerless to do anything but say, “sorry,” and wait.  This morning, there was a woman who left her husband in Line Three and continued to shop while he was checking out, and after he was finished.  And did she care?  Not  at all. Was he embarrassed, not at all.  It was just the way they shop.

Short of a cattle prod, and yelling “Fire”, there is nothing you can do that would make any difference to this kind of person.  Hey wait, maybe a cattle prod is not a bad idea.  We’re just Sayin’…Iris