Thursday, February 16, 2017

Underwear Ware

It was a perfectly wonderful south Florida day, until about 10AM.  Susan and I screwed up making the coffee but no big deal.  We still enjoyed our catch up conversation and just being together.  Because my exercise schedule was a little off I thought it would be a good idea to go to my cousins club house and get on the treadmill.  There was plenty of time to exercise, get a bite to eat and still make it to my 2:00 meeting about Gefilte Fish Chronicles the Musical at the Wick theater in Boca. I figured I would put my stuff in the car so it wouldn’t be forgotten. This is an important detail to remember.

For whatever reason, incompetence, a stupid GPS or roads that seemed to change in mere minutes, getting lost was the norm rather than “oops” — which is me being stupid.  But I know the difference between Yamato and Glades road.  Thing is that when you’re driving to see a little bitty sign that suggests you turn immediately in order to take Butts to Glades.  But that’s not important now.  Anyway, I was happily on my way to Broken Sound. 

The first indication that things were not going my way, was when I took my stuff into the club house and didn’t have my earphones or the clothes I had packed to change into.  At this point the clothing for my workout was clown pants, sneakers, and my Boonton T-shirt.  But where was the additional bag with all my dress clothing.  Back at Susan’s. So, I exercised took a shower dressed unencumbered by any undergarments. All I had was the t-shirt and clown pants. but no underpants. bra, shoes or make-up. Now, I know that young people who don’t  have floppy boobs or a gelatinous tush, don’t have to wear underwear.  Not the case with me.  And not to have earphones  on the elliptical, tragic.  There was no question about dressing.
What to do.  I didn’t have time to get back to Susan’s. But I figured the Town Center would have a pair of underpants, a bra and some reasonable shoes. 

First I went to Macy’s for the shoe’s and got a really cheap pair of Steve Madden’s  for $20. I asked the GPS to find the closest Forever 21.  And while there was one right around the corner in the Mall, they suggested the drive to Delray would be 25 minutes. There isn’t even a Forever in Delray— trust me.  So rather than get back in the car and drive for 25 minutes. Right past the food court and around the corner, is the store.  Not a great Forever but one none the less. They have to have a lingerie sections I thought as I wandered around the store.  When I asked the sales person she looked at me like I nuts, like she didn’t know the word bra.  It reminded me of the time when I asked a sales person in lingerie  for thongs,  and she directed me to the underwear department.  There was a time when what we now call flip flops were called thongs.  OK, and honest mistake.  But there was never a time that my travels took me to Forever and they didn’t have undies and bras. Well, this one didn’t.   

It was getting late and given my travel history I thought it was time to get on the road. The directions seemed simple enough. (Oh, I had no bra or underpants, but I bought a large t-shirt to cover the floppers. ) And off to Costume World, which for the time being houses the CEO of the Wick Theater.  After about fifteen minutes nothing looked familiar.  When I checked the GPS it said I would arrive at my destination in two hours.  Nonsense, my trip thereto other day took twenty minutes max.  After I put the destination in the GPS four more times, it said to head west toward Dixie Highway, which it also said it was South Federal Highway — where the meeting was to take place. You ask yourself, does a GPS have the capacity to lie?  Apparently it does.  My arrival was without fanfare, an hour after I set out, but exactly on time for the meeting  It was harrowing.  Lots of cocktails on the agenda for the evening.

Not to change the subject but let’s change the subject.  When I hear Drump speak it makes me feel like there must be music to make me feel better, and there is, but it’s all music from those years when we were in the midst of the struggles, in the 60’s — Joni Mitchell, Joan Baez, Crosby Stills and Nash singing, “Ohio”, Richie Havens, Bob Dylan and Micky Katz — don’t ask.

The President is going to Mari-lago again.  i don’t think we need to worry about the President’s health — the people in Palm Beach may kill him for the disruptive inconvenience he is causing them every week.  We’re just sayin’… Iris

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