The Key Wester, who is not Jewish-- so don't be blaming us for anything that resembles an historical perspective-- sent me this story about a messiah. It made me laugh and after my credit card fiasco, I needed to laugh and laughing is always good.
Over two thousand years ago a self-proclaimed messiah sat with twelve of his followers for an evening meal of raw fish and warm sake. In addition to his ramblings about the universe and the role he played in it’s future, he was also known (in select circles) as being the driving force that introduced sushi into the Jewish community. Unfortunately that meal didn’t go over well at all. Except for his vice-messiah no other member of the group partook of it. As a matter of fact it was such a flop that it became known forever as “the last supper. “
The purpose of this meeting was to formulate and market his campaign and get the people to proclaim him “The Man.“ His vice-messiah who was a real dick, proposed that perhaps he needed something very powerful to prove his claims. Then allthe people would believe he really was “he chosen one.” (Actually he preferred that title to messiah.)
So as the messiah drank cup after cup of sake and listened to the vice’s plan it seemed to make sense. The plan was to fake his death. Then after a quick burial in a small cave, during the darkness of night, they would sneak in and free him. A day or two later they would pretend they wanted to move his body to higher ground to protect it from flooding waters. Then they would proclaim that when they opened the cave the body was gone. It would be assumed that he might have gone to live with his father who was known as the senior messiah. However when they went to senior's home, there was no body, only a note which said, "Ran out of sake, went to get some more, I’ll catch up with you guys later down at the ranch."
But the dick in charge destroyed that note and wrote a new one. It read,
“I’ve done as much as I can and now I want to turn over the leadership to my vice-messiah. I’ve become so fond of sake I just can’t stop drinking it. And please stop calling him a dick behind his back”
It was signed with only his initials. GW
That was all the proof his followers need to prove the authenticity of the note. Only they knew his real name, Great Won
Funny right? We're just sayin...