Sunday, July 23, 2006

Close Encounter of the NY Kind

Got this from the Key Wester and being a 1/2 time New Yorker (not the kind that gets encountered, I wanted to share it.

I happily lived in Key West for over a quarter of a century. I was secluded from the rest of the world, a world that I often referred to as “gray land.” Since arriving in Key West I have only had businesses that catered to the tourists. Tourists from all over the world and that afforded me a wonderful opportunity to view all the different mind sets and cultures from all four corners of the globe. (Hummph, I wonder how can globes have corners? ) I became fascinated by territorial idiosyncrasies but of all of them I found that people from New York City were the most peculiar. Well maybe not peculiar, more like weird. Actually I think the best way I can describe them is by comparing them to UFO’s.

They travel at extremely high speeds, shine lights in your eyes and then while you wait to regain your vision they disappear. They change shapes at will and just when you think you recognize one it melts into the background leaving you wondering if you saw it all. The only evidence might be a slight dewy feeling on your mouth as though a hummingbird flew to close making you lick your lips. New Yorkers have an innate way of not being real. However, I have found out that if they stay in Key West to long they begin to change, they saunter, they smile, they laugh, they slow down their speech so much they can even be understood but most indicative is their manners start to evolve. Which even surprises them because every once in a while after muttering a “Thank you” they apologize.

During the past couple of years I’ve had the opportunity to take a few New Yorkers hostage. To me it was one of the toughest challenges I’ve ever attempted. I did have limited success or so I thought. For instance I met this wonderful, delightful princess from the Big Apple, which to me was a misnomer it should have been referred to as the Honey Comb and we became very close. Talked everyday, exchanged stories and learned much about each other. We even shared our dreams and visions and I came to discover that we were traveling on the same super highway seemingly headed to the same destination .

But the time had come for her to return and she promised me that we’d never me more than a phone call apart. We still had a long way to go and I eagerly looked forward to what we could accomplish. So for the first few weeks back everything was normal but she told me that her friends were beginning to worry about her. She had changed somewhat and they thought she might have acquired some kind of virus during her stay in Key West. She spoke to me about her concerns and say that she might have to go into a clinic for a thorough check up. I asked her what kind of clinic and she muttered something that sounded like, “Absolution for the Misguided UFO Inc.” So I just waited, and waited, and waited. Three months later she called and said she only had a minute but everything was wonderful.

I hung up and looked out my doorway, left, right and up. I saw what I thought was another New Yorker pacing very fast down the street, as she went by I blurted out, “Do you believe in UFO’s?“ she didn’t answer but did give me a one fingered gesture. Now I’ll have to just wait until she comes racing back again and see if I can trip her up. We're Just Sayin...
Guest Blobber, Key Wester

4 comments:

Walt said...

I was born on Manhattan island. This small fact has never made me a New Yorker. See I never lived there, only visited, starting with my birth.

So for years I've loved messing with New York City-ers. See, I went to college in upstate NY, learned to canoe in the Adirondacks as a Scout, and played Snow Snake with the Senecas. There is this wonderful world call New York State that has very little to do with the "City".

The subject of where people are "from" is always interesting when someone says they're from "New York". Not Rochester, Jamestown or Troy.

You know the tone of voice. The posture. The attitude. The LOOK.

So I'll always said "You're from Philadelphia, New York, how cool!"

You know the reply. "Philadelphia is in Pennsylvania" with the distain of "What a moron."

For which I say "Oh no, Philadelphia, New York, is on Rt 3 northeast of Watertown near Fort Drum."

Of course the New Yorker has to then say "New York City."

This always confirms how insular New Yorkers really are that they don't have the time to investigate their own state, dismissing a chunk of real estate that is completely wonderful.

Their lose.

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