Un-American

Remember -- we said we would have guest blobbers. Well our dear friend Clay Greager (The Key Wester) has offered up a tasty morsel.
It’s Un-American

Many years ago after suffering the pain and agony of having a cup of coffee spill on my lap because I swerved to miss one of our beloved chickens here in Key West that I adopted a policy of grabbing my morning coffee at the Dunkin Donuts, which is on the way from the parking lot to my office.

This morning while a double-timed from the parking lot, (I really need my coffee) I found the Dunkin Donuts closed. They never closed and I was set back for a moment or two. They had pasted a sign in the window stating that they had some equipment failures and would re-open shortly. I was in a near panic and gave in to walking the two blocks to the new Starbucks. I don’t like Starbucks; I associate those who drink that designer coffee with everything that is wrong with this country. Anyway as I approached the shop there was several people standing outside and I thought; damn, now I even will have to wait in line.” But no, they were also closed and they also had the same sign explaining why. Equipment failure.

I knew then that this was some kind of terrorism attack on our country. We just can’t operate without our coffee. As I walked slowly back to my store I only hoped they don’t attack the brewery’s next. Take away my coffee, take away my beer and this is no longer the country I fought for and love.

Yes I do have a coffee pot in my office, one of those one plus one’s but even that chore is burdensome to me. Besides those little pods of “Good Morning Coffee” have been lying around for almost two years and I could only imagine what they would taste like.

I called my son and asked him if his restaurant had any coffee brewing this early in the morning. They don’t open until noon and it was still not 7:00 am. He said they normally do but his workers didn’t show up this morning. I asked him, what in the hell is going on? His reply was simple and all encompassing, “Dad, INS is in town and they’re rounding up all the illegal!” He even added that the rumor is that over 2,000 employee’s haven’t shown up for work. Hotels, bars, tee shirt shops, restaurants and fish cutters all disappearing like as though some other aliens from outer space (they have immunity from INS) have arrived and took them away.

So as I sit here drinking something that at least resembles coffee I’m contemplating on who should receive my wrath at this oh so wrong program of denying me my rights as an American. At first I was going to attack the INS, but then they are only doing their jobs. Then I was going to attack our government but they have laws that have to be obeyed. Even so I normally run into the same two Customs and Immigrations Officers at the Dunkin Donuts and always wonder what they are thinking when they order their coffee from the girls from Bulgaria. I’ll bet they are even pissed because now they are out of their morning brew also.

After a while I finally decided who was to blame. It’s wasn’t the INS, it wasn’t our government, it wasn’t any of those political bodies, It was Dunkin Donuts. Why is it that they bring these undocumented employees, pay them a minimum wage, (which by the way they have to pay their brokers a dollar an hour out of their meager wages, it’s all part of the package.)

So as not to beleaguer you with much more I only have to say this, the corporate officers at Dunkin Donuts who not only allow this program but also have arranged for it should be arrested and tried for treason. They are just Un-American! ...We're Just Sayin.