the Birthday Girl

At 10:24 p.m.  on February 6, 1986, Jordan Kai Burnett made her entrance into our lives. And she was gorgeous.  People always say that about their kids, but this was true. She was born a true diva.  She never had to struggle through a birth canal.  She never had to waste an once of energy on actually getting born.  No, she popped out relaxed and lovely.  Like the announcement of a long awaited musical opening, she established her place on  earth, with the proper amount of fanfare and tremendous expectations.

When we went to the hospital it was raining. The weather in February in Washington was always unpredictable, we were happy that it wasn’t snowing, Since the newborn was the second child, we thought it would be an easy couple-of-hour birth process.  We played Yatzee for a few hours, and nothing was happening.   “Well, we should maybe try to speed this up a bit,” Dr David suggested.  “Sure,” we agreed, “but  I think I need to have a booster of that stuff that numbs you, so you feel nothing but bliss.”  Dr David said he would arrange for that.

Perhaps, you who are thinking,  “What a wuss.”   You should know that when I delivered Seth, my first child, it was an unmedicated natural birth.  Now they call a natural birth anything that isn’t an operation, but this was not the case.  My first labor, which was a back labor, (so no breathing exercises made any difference in controlling the pain), felt like I was being run over with a Mac Truck every thirty seconds.  The doctor asked if I wanted medication and I said, “No,” I simply wanted him to kill me. It was not an experience I wanted to repeat.

Anyway, he gave me a booster of the pain medication and within a couple of minutes I felt the life rushing from my body. Yes, I had some kind of unpredictable reaction.  Luckily, Dr David, who had stayed in the hospital with me the whole day, saw on the monitors that I was in trouble.  He raced into the room, turned me upside down on all fours, and informed me that it was time for the baby to be born.  We agreed, but I asked him to wait for David to get into the operating room before he did the caesarean.

And he made it so. David got into his scrubs and readied himself for the big event. The people who have recounted tales of their births, have said that their deliveries took forever.  Not mine. It was as fast as, “OK we’re going to start… here she comes.” And there she was.  Not smushed, not exhausted, not stressed.  Nope, the diva appeared, rather than was delivered.  By the time she was born (10:24PM), all I wanted was a hot fudge Sundae.  OK, now I know you are not supposed to eat if you have stomach surgery, but all I wanted was a hot fudge sundae.  David will have to tell you the rest of the tale but, he didn’t have enough money to take the car out of the parking lot and all the ice cream joints were closed.  But somehow, he managed to get me a hot fudge Sundae, and even got it comped.

With Jordan in my arms, I devoured that Sundae.  Neither of us could believe that she was so beautiful, but we were not up to looking “a gift horse in the mouth.’  She was a gift from, who knows where, and it was never any different. Now, only 27 years later, we say Happy Birthday to our  amazing baby – you have always been a joy and a wonderful gift,   We’re just sayin’…. Iris