Did I ever tell you about the time when David went away and it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. That is, as my mother would say, what was. We had a house and a driveway, three (sometimes four) cars. Stone sidewalks and a back deck. It seemed that every time David left town, I was left to shovel out all the previously mentioned localities. In fact, one time, when David was away, there was so much snow, I had to shovel my way into the house. But this was before we moved to a factory storage space and an apartment in midtown Manhattan.
I don’t have to shovel anymore. Even though it hasn’t stopped snowing for six or eight months, the sidewalks in the Big Apple are pretty clear. I felt so great about this new circumstance that I poked a finger at the sky, and yelled, “Ha Ha!” Almost before I had a chance to take my finger out of the sky, the technology Gods said, “She doesn’t have to shovel, so as long as he’s gone, let’s make sure she is aggravated about something else.”
And so ladies and germs (didn’t you always hate that), I don’t have a workable internet router in my apartment. I cannot send or receive emails. I can’t check Face book, or be entertained by youTube. I am so lonely.
This morning, I went to the 24 hour Fitness Center to use their wifi. It was not uncomplicated. It was sleeting. (Thought I’d do color along with the rather boring play-by-play). I was wet when I got there – it is just across the street, which gives you an idea about the amount of sleet. Then I logged on to their computer, which kept asking me if I wanted fettered or unfettered communication. I thought, unfettered – but that was not to be. Then I had to write a number, to prove I was literate, if not math capable. Once I had completed all the assigned tasks, I was shown my e-mail. This does in no way mean I could read my email. Everytime I clicked on a message, the computer immediately took me back to the “fettered/unfettered” question and more numbers. Defeated, I logged out, never having read one communication from any friend or Overstock.com.
In my heart of hearts, I know none of this is David’s fault. But I can’t help thinking his leaving and all the “tsuras” (it’s Yiddish for aggravation but I didn’t want to repeat myself) has some indirect connection to his absence. Yes, admittedly, I felt I needed someone to blame. And who better than your absent IT guy, when there’s a breakdown. While it is true that my IT guy does have another life, it does not mean that he shouldn’t be available to my every whim.
As if that weren’t all too terrible for words, his patience during my crisis was irritating at best. “Well dear, just buy a new one and have someone at the Apple store walk you through it. It’s so simple I know you won’t have any problems.” Before I trekked over to the Apple Store (if you have never been there it’s unexplainable – but you have to have an appointment), I thought I would look on line to see how simple this was going to be.
You know what’s coming next. As I read through the instructions I was so confused and bored, that my eyes glossed/glazed over and I went to sleep. This did not help – except to make me understand that I would be inaccessible to everyone in my life, (professionally and personally), until David comes back in the middle of February.
This is all to say, don’t expect to hear back, about, or from me for anytime soon. I will remain incommunicado until someone who knows something about anything takes pity on me. And of course it’s David’s fault. We’re just sayin’…. Iris