Tuesday, February 01, 2011

And Just Like That..

Did I ever tell you about the time when David went away and it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. That is, as my mother would say, what was. We had a house and a driveway, three (sometimes four) cars. Stone sidewalks and a back deck. It seemed that every time David left town, I was left to shovel out all the previously mentioned localities. In fact, one time, when David was away, there was so much snow, I had to shovel my way into the house. But this was before we moved to a factory storage space and an apartment in midtown Manhattan.

I don’t have to shovel anymore. Even though it hasn’t stopped snowing for six or eight months, the sidewalks in the Big Apple are pretty clear. I felt so great about this new circumstance that I poked a finger at the sky, and yelled, “Ha Ha!” Almost before I had a chance to take my finger out of the sky, the technology Gods said, “She doesn’t have to shovel, so as long as he’s gone, let’s make sure she is aggravated about something else.”

And so ladies and germs (didn’t you always hate that), I don’t have a workable internet router in my apartment. I cannot send or receive emails. I can’t check Face book, or be entertained by youTube. I am so lonely.

This morning, I went to the 24 hour Fitness Center to use their wifi. It was not uncomplicated. It was sleeting. (Thought I’d do color along with the rather boring play-by-play). I was wet when I got there – it is just across the street, which gives you an idea about the amount of sleet. Then I logged on to their computer, which kept asking me if I wanted fettered or unfettered communication. I thought, unfettered – but that was not to be. Then I had to write a number, to prove I was literate, if not math capable. Once I had completed all the assigned tasks, I was shown my e-mail. This does in no way mean I could read my email. Everytime I clicked on a message, the computer immediately took me back to the “fettered/unfettered” question and more numbers. Defeated, I logged out, never having read one communication from any friend or Overstock.com.

In my heart of hearts, I know none of this is David’s fault. But I can’t help thinking his leaving and all the “tsuras” (it’s Yiddish for aggravation but I didn’t want to repeat myself) has some indirect connection to his absence. Yes, admittedly, I felt I needed someone to blame. And who better than your absent IT guy, when there’s a breakdown. While it is true that my IT guy does have another life, it does not mean that he shouldn’t be available to my every whim.

As if that weren’t all too terrible for words, his patience during my crisis was irritating at best. “Well dear, just buy a new one and have someone at the Apple store walk you through it. It’s so simple I know you won’t have any problems.” Before I trekked over to the Apple Store (if you have never been there it’s unexplainable – but you have to have an appointment), I thought I would look on line to see how simple this was going to be.

You know what’s coming next. As I read through the instructions I was so confused and bored, that my eyes glossed/glazed over and I went to sleep. This did not help – except to make me understand that I would be inaccessible to everyone in my life, (professionally and personally), until David comes back in the middle of February.

This is all to say, don’t expect to hear back, about, or from me for anytime soon. I will remain incommunicado until someone who knows something about anything takes pity on me. And of course it’s David’s fault. We’re just sayin’…. Iris


Anonymous said...


it is perfectly acceptable to blame David for all of this. I do it all the time.

If something goes wrong at our house I always blame David...always.

Can't find the cat...David
Keys locked it car...David
Spilled milk...David
Bills unpaid...David


So by all means give him the "why I ought'a..."

And the "You son of a no good's..."

When he get's back from where I am geussing he probably is...he owes you BIG time.

And concerning my bad love making, he owes my wife big time too...geeze, that doesn't sound right at all...there has got to be another way of saying that...

Enjoy the wonder of sollitude, a good time to write...and remember Starbucks ha Wifi...

until then get a good blanket, a great chair, and your favourite pen...


Iris and Clay said...

Michael. you always light up my day. And the young genius at the apple store was able to do everything but plug the new one in. David said, it couldn't be the netgear. He was wrong.
(But you knew that). And I am back on line --no thanks to you know who/

jsbx101 said...


I know just how you felt about the shoveling and the snow. When Ned was still managing the Trust, he managed to go on site visits and field trips EVERY time it snowed. We (still) have a driveway, 2 sets of steps and walks and foundation plantings that need(ed) to be unburdened. It's a male thing. They have this uncanny, inner radar that tells them to leave town when snow is coming.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way--I am not a geek or a techno nut or an IT person, but I do know how to set up an Apple router and wifi system. So, if you really get stuck, holler and I will hop on Metro North and come help. No one should be at the mercy of a dysfunctional router.


Anna said...

That's what husbands are for! Where you went wrong Iris is accepting that David has a life of his own. No my dear, his life is be at the beck and call of you.

He better be prepared to pay when he is back.

Anonymous said...

My long suffering Air Force wife would understand. I called her once from Guam, with my feet in the ocean,on our anniversary and she was in a blizzard in North Dakota. It didn't go well...