Let's Kick Sarah Around

And I thought I wouldn’t have Sarah Palin to kick around anymore. There is so much speculation about what Sarah is going to do when she grows up, that it’s hard to keep up with the rumors. Some people think that her resignation is somehow related to another run at the Presidency. That makes no political sense. It seems to me that if you want to be a political candidate you need to stay in politics. And last time I looked, being a Governor (even from a state so close to Russia), is a good thing. Governors have real management responsibility. Governors have to deal with budgets (just ask Schwartznegger!) , and personnel, and policy. If you are a woman Governor, and you want to seek a higher office—like the Presidency -- being the CEO of a state provides especially good credentials. So, I don’t think that’s what she wants to do.

When you look at the things that made her attractive to America (and that she seemed to enjoy) they are not unlike any reality TV celebrity. First of all you get to be seen by millions of people on an ongoing basis. You get to spout words of wisdom (perhaps inane but who cares) to people who tune in to reconnect with you with some degree of regularity. If you ever accidentally ended up watching (no one with a brain would do it intentionally) that horrible “I’m a Celebrity Now Get Me Outta Here” show, the first couple that left were reality TV stars. They had done nothing in their lives but be reality stars. Yet they had come to think of themselves as important. So when one of the other contestants used their hair products, it was considered a serious personal attack, a violation of their very being. They were nothing short of dumb and obnoxious, but apparently people had enjoyed watching them on a previous reality show, and so this reality show felt they would have an appeal to the audience—which they did not. Unlike those two twits, Sarah Palin is an actual celebrity who has governed a state and was attractive, dare I say wise, enough to get to be the Republican choice for Vice President. She is someone who people like to hear about – for a variety of reasons. For me it’s all about the gossip. But for others it’s more insidious. Anyway, I digress. (What else is new).

My guess is that Sarah Palin is resigning from the Governorship for a number of reasons but the decision does have a specific goal. First, she is leaving a highly visible office because she hates being seen by the American public (all of whom she wants as fans—not constituents), in any negative context. She loved being on that stage at the Republican convention, but she hated the attacks on her pregnant teenage daughter and the totally confused boyfriend. Second, she loved being on the campaign trail, where the events were choreographed and the excitement palpable. But when she was in a one to one conversation or, for that matter, a press conference – it was too distressful to have to answer issues questions about which she was totally uneducated. Third, it’s fun to be the most powerful person in the state, but not if you don’t get to exercise your power. Or if you do, you are called on the carpet by do gooders with their own agenda often disguised as concerned citizens or worse, lawyers. Like why shouldn’t she have been able to fire her ex brother-in –law? He wasn’t nice. OK so maybe he didn’t do anything wrong in his job, but he “done the sister wrong” – or maybe it was a cousin or a friend, but whoever, Sarah didn’t like it. Did she think that if she was the VP she wouldn’t be under the same kind of microscope? Probably she did what she has been known for doing for at least a year – she didn’t think.

Now comes the resignation, about which the NYTimes writes today. Oh, they say, she was tired of the ethics questions, personal turmoil and legal bills. But why did she think she had to explain her decision in such a cumbersome, ludicrous way? I don’t believe it had anything to do with a run for the Presidency in four years or even eight years. I think she was auditioning for her own TV show. Now, here’s the part where I get back to where I began. Sarah loves being the focus of attention, the on camera talent, (she was great on SNL and clearly she doesn’t do well as a producer.) She is the voice of the conservative disenfranchised and they don’t care if she makes sense. They want a voice who can relate to women and who looks good for the men. She is much more palatable than a talking head like the vicious Ann Coulter. I am just going to say here and now, I think Sarah has been or will be negotiating with FOX for a spot in there political line-up. They need someone to compete with Chris Matthews and Wolf Blitzer, and she is, for the first time in her limited career, a perfect electable candidate. We’re just sayin’…Iris