What's On Your Eyes?

Kathleen looked at me today and said, “Those sun glasses are horrible. They look like you’re wearing saddlebags on your eyes. You look like a ... like a Texan.” She said it like there was nothing worse one could be, and other than lobbyist, lawyer, or axe murderer, in this town, and she’s right. I say this realizing some of my best friends are axe murderers.

One Set of Glasses: Many Looks

Over the last few years I have developed a passion for sunglasses. At one time I would buy antique purses, both metal and beaded, but they got too expensive. Then I went through a hat stage—which I am still in but for a long time I just bought hats, now I try to wear them as well. My yearning for cool sun glasses is a direct result of the fact that Jordan has cool sunglasses and the coolest sunglasses are very cheap in always available in places where we have access—like street fairs in New York and, of course, Cow Town.

While it is true that the cheap sunglasses often fall apart, it is also true that I lose sunglasses at the same rate I watch Law and Order SVU. That means almost every hour of the day. So if you lose or break a pair of sunglasses that cost $142, you are much more upset than if you lose or break a pair that cost $3. This is not the point, well it is part of the point, but the other part is that sunglasses can reflect who you are. Or in my case, who I would like to be depending on the occasion. For example, the “saddlebag” look is only what Kat sees; I see kind of ‘movie star simple’. They are big aviators with little diamonds surrounding each lens. They are fabulous. And they only set me back $3.

The other day when we were out picking up just a few things we didn’t need, Jordan spotted an enormous pair in red. Actually she spotted two pairs, one was not so enormous but they were a little more expensive than the usual price. They were 2 for $9. Ordinarily I wouldn’t go that high, but she did love them and they looked soooo cute.

When are in New York we keep our collection on a shelf and always have them available for us or guests, depending on our mood. We have a few pair in white, some in tortoise, one pair in blue and my favorites, which I got at a NY street fair are pink aviators with hardly any frame. This particular pair was in need of repair almost immediately. The plastic separated from the frame. It was heartbreaking – so I did the only thing I could do -- and searched to replace them almost as immediately as they broke. Well, I had to wait one week—till the next street fair and, much to my surprise, they weren’t easy to find. I walked the entire length of the fair, passing dozens of Italian sausage stands and Pashmina sellers, looked at thousands of glasses and although some were similar, it took another closer look to find the identical glasses. My inability to land the glasses immediately was disconcerting, so knowing they would break again (even though David glued them together), forced me to buy three, not one more pair.

When I thought about it I realized that I had, in fact, spent $12 on the sunglasses, not $3. But who cares, I loved those glasses—two pair have broken over the course of the year – but I still have one. There is only one other thing about cheap/very cool sunglasses you should know before you race out to Cow Town or a street fair. It is almost impossible to see through them. Yes, they do have a label that says UV 100%, but what does that mean? I guess it means that either the coating is so thick and cheap you can’t see a thing, or the label is a lie and the plastic is just dreck. (Dreck is another of the Jewish words that means ‘crap’ or any derivation you choose to use in mixed company.) Whatever, as they say to the point of annoyance, it is the one area that does not require me to think about the expense.

A few Thanksgivings ago David decided that sunglasses should be our theme. So my favorite sunglass picture turns out to be one that was taken after our big meal and before anyone had a chance to get shy. We took pictures of everyone in the sunglasses my mother has been wearing. But my mother also has many sunglasses, which she insists on wearing all the time—so she can’t see when she is indoors. That being said. these pictures were really fun and Seth took the shades home—so mom couldn’t wear them and not see. Moving on—so as not to be frustrated by mom’s behavior.... Seth took the glasses. They looked great on him and once again I proved my point. We are what we think we can be, and all that is romantic about it. We’re just sayin...Iris